New Republic Daily Snapshot proudly presents exerts from a Jedi Trainers diary.

I suppose I could start this diary with a traditional Dear Diary, but that feels very cliched to me and Im also not one for tradition, I think I proved that in the way I became a Jedi. Hunting down a Dark Jedi for killing my father isnt what you would call traditional. Anyway, even though I am only doing this to keep Jan and Mara happy, (Something about examining recent events and also having a record to look back on if I am to prevent myself falling again.) I do feel as if this might help me shed light on my behaviour recently. 
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A few weeks ago I helped a small NR base repel a Remnant assault. I managed to sneak on board of one of their ships and destroy it. While I was there however, I managed to get into their records. One record intrigued me, it mention a sith temple on Dromuund Kaas. I dont know what possessed me but I felt I had to investigate so I left as soon as possible. The more I look back at it, the more I realise that perhaps it was my overconfidence in my abilities that made me go, it seems that there is another path for the dark side into your soul, and thats through pride. Something all Jedi should really be aware of! Anyway, back to the point. I got to the temple and of course it was in ruins. I could sense something there, some focal point for the force... It attracted me and repelled me at the same time, but I felt sure I could deal with anything that was thrown at me. I could almost hear my fathers voice from that old holo he created for me when I left for the academy.  What a fine young man youve become!  It would say before he moved on to talking about my mother I know she watches over you, and is proud! With such praise is it a wonder that not even the death star could have contained my ego.  The more I learned as a Jedi the more I felt they were both proud of me. And so with this pride I went off to face the very depths of the temple. 

For the next few days, I searched for the source of the focal point, my fathers voice seemed to be ringing in my ears constantly. I knew that when I found the source my parents would be prouder still, and I searched with more zeal with each passing day. Then, I found what I was looking for, in the very centre of the catacombs underneath the temple was the focal point. I descended on a platform to what felt like the centre of the planet. But panic began to rise in me, the deeper I went the less I could feel the force, it was almost as if I was slowly being submerged. My fathers voice was almost soothing in my head, he whispered that we was proud of me and that if I was to let go of all that I knew that hed be prouder still. Slowly I began to surrender to that voice.

I know not how long I was in the depths of that place, nor do I know exactly what I did or what I gave up, but the next thing I remember is being in the ruins watching a woman walking around. I felt full of new purpose, as if finally I had found my destiny. My fathers soothing voice had warned me to beware of this female and so I did my best to avoid her. I was never able to get a good look at her as I moved through the temple, but there was something about her I seemed to recognise, an echo of my Old life I felt. Despite my fathers warning I became curious about her and let her see me. She spoke my name but I retreated. With the sound of her voice her name came back to me, Mara! With this realisation my fathers voice became more insistent that I avoid her at all costs.  

I retreated back into the antechamber of the temple where my thoughts concentrated on this new information; she was... a friend, no almost like a student at one point. Memories of her floated up at random and I began to digest them! My fathers voice was getting almost panicky and was telling me to get back down to the catacombs. I delayed as I fully began to absorb the memories again. And then it happened! Kyle? 
I looked up to see her standing at the entrance of the antechamber. Mara, I felt myself say as I slowly stood up, I shook my head, trying to clear my head, everything felt un-real to me. You should not have come. My fathers voice shot into my head telling me to stop her, to prevent her leaving.
Kyle I.., is everything okay? Are you all right? she asked me with concern pasted across her face, 
Everything is fine Mara, more than fine! I replied, she began to ask me questions about why I hadnt reported in, about what I found and why I was still here. I let her rush her main questions out before replying, I am still here because I feel a connection to this place, and I have found a part of myself that I cannot deny. A strength I never knew I had! I began to pace as I was talking, I talked about how proud I would make my parents by restoring the glory of the sith, their true heritage! I must have talked for a good 5 galactic minutes before I finally turned to Mara and put my hand out to her, because of our previous friendship I offer you the chance to join me, but beware if you do not and attempt to follow me, I will not be responsible for the consequences!

Kyle, I heard her reply, This place, it has some sort of hold over you! I knew I had not got through to her so I slowly began to turn away form her what else could explain the madness you have just said. The moment you leave this place, its influence will end and you will become the Kyle I know. I felt her step closer. Come with me now Kyle and lets end this madness! Her hand slowly touched my shoulder and my fathers voice screamed a warning. I looked over my shoulder at her and partially smiled.
So be it! I replied,
So, youll come with me? she asked with relief beginning to appear on her face.
No! I replied and I shrugged off her hand I have chosen my destiny and it lies here! I fully turned away from her and began to walk towards the pit descending into the catacombs. She seemed frozen by my comment until I got to the edge of the pit, she began to run after me...
Kyle, wait!  When she grew close I spun and hit her with a blast of energy that sent her flying backwards.
I have already warned you not to follow me Mara, My fathers voice was screaming at me to finish the job as I began to climb down into the catacombs, Listen to my words and leave now! 

Knowing the route well, I headed straight for the centre and began to descend into the focal point. I could sense that Mara was attempting to follow me, though she was making far slower progress than myself.  My fathers voice told me that because of her stubbornness it was my duty to kill her. I resigned myself to this fact, knowing that a confrontation was inevitable now! At least I will kill her in battle I began to think.

After what felt like an age, she finally descended into that dark place with me. I could see her confusion, like myself that first time she can no longer feel the force. I repeat my offer once more in the hopes that now she is stripped of her powers that she may see sense and I also confirm that the only other choice for her is death, mine or hers. I will kill you if I must, she replies to my words, But Ive sensed that you will not make that necessary !
There is no conflict, I reply, my voice strangely weaker than it has been, only resolve! Your choice has been made, prepare yourself! My saber flashed into life and as I raised it above my head my fathers voice rose with it! KILL HER, HER DEATH WILL FREE YOU! MAKE ME PROUD SON! The blade swung down but Mara was no longer there. I turned to find her standing behind me, her body language wary but her lightsaber swung uselessly at her hip. I berated her for not using her weapon, but she made no move toward it. I told her that if she didnt ignite her saber I would kill her where she stood.
No Kyle, was all she replied
Then you are foolish, and for that you will die! I put my saber to her throat Good bye Mara Jade! and I began to tremble, only my hand stayed stable. I tried to force my hand to continue, my fathers voice still screaming in my head confusing my thoughts! ...And it was as if there was a gigantic snap within my head, the voice continued screaming for Maras death, but now I realised it was not my fathers, but some other entities. NO! I screamed as I collapsed to the ground, It asks too much of me, I cant kill a friend in cold blood! My whole body was shuddering and I felt a touch on my arm. I couldnt see her though I knew who it was, I quickly slipped into unconsciousness and remembered no more.
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I woke up a week after the incident on Dromuund Kaas, Jan was at my bedside though there was no sign of Mara, I questioned Jan about where she is and I learned that neither of them had truly left my bedside. Jan then told me exactly what happened on Dromuund Kaas and that Mara herself destroyed the temple with a massive amount of Nergon 14. I felt safer knowing that the temple had been destroyed, though the ear bashing I received off Jan was far worse than the physical trauma I suffered at the hands of all the 7 Dark Jedi I have fought all together. As the abuse reached its peak Mara showed up and calmed Jan down. Mara threw a book into my lap and suggested I use it. I open it up at the first page and was surprised to find it blank, I asked Mara what was going on and she told me it was a diary. She then explained that I write my thoughts for the day down in here, as a type of personal record for my life. She wasnt clear on why I should start to fill it out but Jan agreed with her and said it would be healthy! sometimes I just dont understand women.

Actually Ive decided this Jedi Academy idea wasnt such a bad idea after all. Luke has advanced me to a Jedi trainer rather than just being a student. Sure I dont get to see Jan as much as I would like, but she does pop in every now and then to stir things up a little. I still remember the day that I told her I was considering abandoning the force all together, her reaction was... unexpected to say the least. She slapped me and told me no to be an idiot! (Being slapped by her cybernetic hand, I have to admit, hurts like hell!) I felt the force was too dangerous and I didnt want to see her hurt if I was to fall again. She was not going to let me use her as an excuse to give up the force, so we came up with a compromise. A session of re-training in the force at the Jedi academy would allow me to relearn the force under the supervision of another Jedi. My retraining was rather quick as Luke told me that I actually didnt fall to the dark side, just controlled by it. (Still sounds like I fell to me, but who am I to argue with a Jedi master!) 
Over the next couple of weeks we should be receiving the next group of students and a few Special guests. Maras coming for a visit and Corran promised to show up in his guise of Kieran for a couple of days. Hell, Ive even heard that the Millennium Falcon might make a pit stop.  Things are gonna get interesting round here for a bit!

The first wave of students have arrived, theyre a strange bunch, humans and aliens of different ages and ability. I found it a little overwhelming. When I mentioned this to Luke he smiled and said this was just the beginning. Wait until I had to know all their names by heart. I made a comment of making things easier by requiring each student to tattoo their names into their foreheads before they arrive. I almost broke his Jedi calm with that one!
Still... There was one student that I will remember, for two reasons. The most obvious one is that he is a Chiss. The most well known (and really, only!) Chiss known was Grand Admiral Thrawn who caused a massive amount of trouble before being killed by his bodyguard a few years back. Second being, his name is the same as my own. I dont mean his whole name as according to this guy, Chiss have far longer names that no one outside of Chiss space should ever hear. He calls himself Katarn, which will make things very interesting when lessons begin. I asked if there was any other part of his name he could use, he replied no as there are only 3 versions of a chiss name, the full name; which should not be given out except to family and dear friends. The middle name; which is where Katarn comes from, used for titles and given out to anyone who requires a name for familiarity reasons. And finally the Family name which unlike human family names are not used in a title as the family does debase itself to one individual! Uptight? This guy makes a Bothan look relaxed.


Weve let the trainees settle in for the last month so now comes the real training. Some students of course charge ahead of the rest and develop quickly. Others lag behind, and then some dont seem to develop at all. I have been put in charge of the last group. Luke assures me its not a punishment of any kind, but he believes the fact that I learned the force on my own, without any outside influence, (Except of course 7 marauding Dark Jedi, that tends to motivate you a little!) it may give me the advantage on awakening the potential of these students. Katarn has ended up in my group, I am beginning to feel drawn to this young Chiss. If it wasnt for his arrogance and downright cockiness hed... Well actually he does remind me a lot of myself. Especially during my early days as a merc for the Rebellion. 
Another student in my group also interests me, a young girl called Valaria Iabe, She has these eyes... they seem to judge you when she looks at you, a cold determination and strength behind those eyes that almost scares me. Out of the whole group I believe that she will be the most susceptible to the dark side, she has a lot of suppressed rage, which usually come out during combat training. Ive talked to Luke about it but he seems to think that we need to give her the chance to learn the Jedi arts, it may allow her to vent her anger and become a useful Jedi, (Personally I think when you have an uncontrolled fire, the last thing you need to do is pour more fuel onto it and make it stronger.) Even more interesting was Corrans reaction to her when he met her. Corran never normally judges people by his first reactions to them, but with Valaria, he met her once and took an instant dislike to her. Its the eyes hed say. Something about them was familiar to him, as if he was staring into the eyes of an old adversary. With Luke not willing to listen, Corran has asked me to keep an eye on her.
Damn, I wish Luke would start listening to me about Valaria, during a sparring session earlier on, she went out of control. Yeah, it was partially my fault; I gave her a lightsaber. I had Katarn and Valaria duelling properly. Neither of them had progressed in the force as much as the other trainers and myself had hoped. I know that with both Corran and myself our force powers manifested first when we were under extreme stress! For myself it was having to deal with Jerec and his servants, for Corran it was having to escape the Lusankya. I had hoped that duelling with real lightsabers, with the risk of serious injury or even death, it would awaken their potential! For Valaria I was right, too right. The session started well enough, both students were nervous but got into the spirit of things quite quickly. Katarn proved himself to be the better fighter, Not unexpected, hed always taken to the combat training. Their ability to pull any killing blows was impressive, but it was obvious to me, neither was using the force to prevent injury. Really it was inevitable, Katarn feinted and stuck out at her arm. Valaria wasnt quick enough to block it and Katarns saber just creased her arm. The smell of burnt flesh filled the room and she screamed in pain. I felt a small spike in the force as Katarn just manages to turn the blade away from dismembering her. She cradled her arm as Katarn shuts down the blade. I moved over to her and checked the wound. Thankfully it wasnt serious, just a nasty burn on her arm. Katarn expressed his concern and apologised to her. I felt another, larger spike in the force and her saber flew back into her hand and ignited. She started screaming at him, saying she was gonna kill him! I was thrown aside and she charged Katarn. The blade swung down towards him and he barely managed to light his blade and block her strike. Katarns blade flew from his hands with the force of the attack and Valaria moved in for the kill. I used the force to knock her to the ground and Katarn retreated. I called his saber to me and ignited it. She turned to me with madness in her eyes. If you really want to blame or fight someone... I said, Then fight me! A smile of pure evil appeared on her face,
With Pleasure! she replied, and she came at me. Her attacks were sloppy and very easy to deflect, what surprised me was the strength of each blow. Each attack forced me back a couple of steps. One strike came toward me at an awkward angle and I was able to hook my blade with hers and knock it out of her hands!
Her hand started to rise toward me and I felt the force begin to whirl around her, I knew what was coming... It never came, Katarn came out of nowhere and managed to pin her in position. I moved in quickly and put my hand to her head, with all of my will I managed send her into a Jedi healing trance, but it took a lot out of me. I fell to the floor and Katarn came to my side and asked my condition, I told him to find Luke!
Both Valaria and myself were taken to the old medical bay in the Academy, I was able to leave quite quickly as I was only suffering from fatigue. Valaria however, remained unconscious. I slowly made my way back to my quarters, there I was visited by two people. Luke unsurprisingly was the first one. Also, (unsurprisingly) guess who got the blame. He wasnt angry as Jedi Masters dont get angry but he said he wasnt pleased with the outcome of my experiment. He asked me to learn from this experience. Considering that two of his Jedi friends told him that she was unstable I found that comment rather humorous, though I did not put that particular point across. Luke left and I began to settle down for the evening, thats when my second guest arrived. Katarn knocked on my door and asked to talk to me. We sat down and talked about what had happened. He couldnt figure out how he had avoided cutting her arm off. He said that he fully expected her to parry the blow so he didnt hold back. Only as the saber swung close to her arm did he realise that she had missed the attack altogether. Instincts that he never knew he had took over and allowed him to divert the blade. I told him that I think he finally used the force to save her life. We talked for a long time and I felt he made a lot of progress. Perhaps my experiment had succeeded after all!

So much for learning from the experience, Our little Valaria woke up today and caused one hell of ruckus, she stormed out of the medical bay and headed straight in My direction. Luke intercepted her before she found me. From what little I heard she did a lot of shouting at our High and Mighty Jedi Master, of course Luke being Luke During all the noise no one ever heard his voice. I checked later on and she was back in the medical bay... unconscious! Im tempted to chalk that one up to Jedi Diplomacy!

Valaria has awakened... AGAIN! This time she didnt shout, she didnt scream AND she didnt attack anyone. In fact we never even knew she was awake, until the engines of the Academy shuttle started up and headed for space. Luke never learns, how many times have Corran and I told him to passcode the shuttles. The New Republic are gonna get tired of replacing them!

The conversations between Katarn and myself are becoming a regular thing, unknown to Luke I have a small supply of Corellian Whiskey being smuggled into the academy with every supply delivery. Katarn and I have the odd glass and we talk, about his people and about myself. Hes fascinated with my experience on Dromuund Kaas and of the Valley.  The final fight between Jerec and myself. He wants to know how stopped myself from killing my opponents in cold blood, especially Jerec who was the one who killed my father. I explained to him that it is one line you cannot cross. Despite the fact I wanted to kill Jerec, I had to give him the chance to either defend himself or walk away. He made his choice, and a small part of me felt relief as he died. Not pleasure, but relief. Hes opened up a lot now, he even talks of a girl... A young Chiss he has known for many years. I ask why she hasnt visited yet and he replied that he didnt want any distractions, he talks to her every few days on comm as Luke allows all students to do. I basically told him that maybe having her around for a few days would be a bad idea, it might help him develop some more. He thanked me for my input and quickly changed the subject... Onto his new nickname. It seems that other students have noticed that we talk often. Because of his name being the same as my surname he has been nicknamed Kyle, much to his chagrin. Kyle is not a Chiss name, hed say, much to my amusement.

Kyle took my advice to heart, Janors came to Yavin today. My word, she is a thing of beauty. If it wasnt for my Jan Id be tempted to go after her myself. Best thing about this girl is that she has a great sense of humour. When she heard Katarns nickname and saw how much it rankled him she started using it. He just glared at me as if it was my fault. I just smiled back and Janors gave me a little wink of approval.

Well that certainly was an interesting conversation I just had with Katarn. Ever since Janors left he has seemed listless and unhappy. He came to me this evening and said how unhappy he was with his development at the Academy, that he thought it was time for him to leave and that perhaps it wasnt for a Chiss to learn the ways of the force. I of course disagreed with him, while his development was painfully slow compared to other students, he was making progress. I told him of the after Dromuund Kaas that I considered abandoning the force, I also told him Id happily get Jan here to slap him with her cybernetic hand. But he was convinced that it was fruitless, so I made a deal with him. I dont really want to lose another student like I did Valaria, so I offered him the chance to come with me to the Valley of the Jedi. IF after taking in the sites of the valley his force potential hasnt been kick started then I would allow him to leave. I know its not the proper use for the valley and I also know that Luke will not approve, but I dont want to see Katarn go. Hes become a good friend and I can see what a waste it would be if he was to leave!

Damn it, it didnt work and now Katarn has gone. Janors was waiting here at Yavin when we got back. I dont know why it failed but it did. Im sure I felt a stirring though, but it was as if he himself shut the door. Anyway, I wished the kid luck and let him go, there was nothing I could do to stop him. I did however get him to take something with him. He refused to take a lightsaber as he felt hed not earned the right to wield one, what I did give him however was my trusty old bryar pistol. I told him its on Extended loan and that I want it back some day. At least he wont forget his time at the Academy. Oh and there was someone else waiting for our return. Luke, after wed left he took a guess at what I planned and he bulls-eyed this wamprat. I had to sit through another conversation with him about how he wasnt pleased with me. What a great way to finish this day.

Its been quite some time since Katarns last visit. Being a Merc can cause havoc with your friends. I know, I was one for many years, so its not unexpected. He has visited a few times since he left but I get the sense he may not return to the academy. I did get a brief message from him today though. Apparently Mon Mothma wants a word with him, some sort of job lined up. He wanted advice on how to deal with her. I told him to be non-committal and wait until she raises the amount shes willing to pay before accepting. Shes always been tight with her first offer.
